Inspector Morse is on the the telly last night and I’ve got half an eye on it while doing some bilge on the computer. A Devil-worshipping 'Baddy' has kidnapped a woman and Morse and Lewis are in her house gazing solemnly upon her kitchen walls where the miscreant has daubed some Satanic runes. They also come across a note from the kidnapper, smeared on a sheet of paper. Both the runes on the wall and the writing on the note appear to have been written in flourescent red oil-paint.

"Blood" announces Morse grimly.

Really? You see the last time I was unfortunate enough to bleed on a piece of paper or brush my injured carcass against a wall, one of the things I couldn’t help noticing was that within a minute or two -once the blood had dried- the marks had turned a dark brown colour which, as the hours passed, proceeded to darken until it was a dark purple -almost black. Only in the world of the silver screen does blood maintain a constant dazzling Fire Engine Red hue, from the moment it first spurts garishly from the poor victim’s veins until the end credits roll.