I Hate Clipart People!
“You're not making me enjoy paying this bill”

This morning I had to go online to pay another wodge of my hard-earned cash to Powergen to cover my electricity bill. On the online payments page I was greeted with this inanely grinning tart.

What the fuck is going on here? Why do these huge companies; energy suppliers, banks, local government - insist on sending us bills, threatening letters, final demands for payment and the like, embellished with these plastic-toothed, American-chinned, vacant looking clipart mannekins? Is it supposed to make me feel that handing over sizeable percentages of the little money I have to monopolistic multinationals and faceless bureaucrats -for the joy of being able to cook my meals, having a drop of water to wash in, seeing where I’m going at night or [in the case of the iniquitous Council Tax] purely for the privilege of living in this shit-hole of a town- is supposed to be some kind of almost orgasmic experience? The joy of giving, is it? The sheer exhilaration of contributing to the National Economy?

Well, I paid that leccy bill and I’m sorry to say that my willy remained resolutely flaccid throughout the entire experience and my lips simply refused to part into a post-coital grin for even the merest of moments. So if anyone else out there had a whopping great bill to pay this morning -“How was it for you, Darling?”

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