Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time!
“Seasonal greetings to the Payroll department at City College Manchester”

To certain persons at City College Manchester who, for the sake of keeping my job, must sadly remain nameless - a heartfelt Christmas greeting:

As I sit here with [literally!] £1,32 to my name in the bank, debating whether to settle for a single brussels sprout for Christmas dinner, or attempt to catch one of the mice I can hear scampering about in the attic and roast it over a roaring candle, I’d like to thank you for all you’ve done for me over the past couple of months, to make this such a special Christmas…

I trust that none of you “bean counters” will have experienced any hiccups or shortfalls in your own particular salaries, at this time of year [and I’m pretty sure you won’t have!]. So let me take this opportunity to say that I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas

I fucking won’t!

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