Jeesuz h. Motherfuck! - I’ve railed long and hard in the past about the mindfuckingly irritating habit megacorporations have of sticking some vacant clipart bimboon their marketing material [Usually bundled in an envelope with a letter telling you they’re going to sue the pants off you for the handful of sheckels you owe them], but never in the history of Politically Correct Clipart-Sucking Loonery have I been greeted with as monstrous a sight as this hugely grinning apparition, which greeted me when I attempted to access my account details on Virgin Mobile’s site this morning.

Is the sight of this face, which seems to consist of about 90% mouth and teeth and appears to have been photographed, caught in the headlamps of an approaching juggernaut meant to arouse me?…​ Meant to make me feel relaxed and happy at the thought of giving oul' Richard Branston Pickle some more of my money?…​ Coz it doesn’t. All it does is cause me to make typing errors while filling in my login details far too quickly, in a desperate attempt to get onto the next page before the bitch leaps out of the computer screen and bites my face off with a single snap of those ferocious dentures!

Enough already!