Amongst the usual wheelbarrow loads of spam I’ve been getting in my intray over the past week or three, there’s been several dozen with a subject line consisting of some variation on the theme "My boyfriends' <insert slang name for willy> is so big…​ yadda…​ yadda…​". I don’t actually know what the rest of the line is, as it gets cut off by the edge of my email app window and - needless to say - I just delete spam without looking at it, but one thing I did find mildly amusing: where the <slang name for willy> appears in the subject line, I’ve seen all the usual suspects used; 'Penis', 'Cock', 'Wang', 'Pecker', and so on. However I’ve also noticed quite a few emails proclaiming *"My boyfriend’s *peter is so big…​." etc.

PETER???!!! --Who in the name of anal fuck calls their willy [or their boyfriend’s willy for that matter] a fucking 'peter'?!

MAN: Darling?

WOMAN: What is it?

MAN [Sexily]: I want you to do something for me…​

WOMAN [Also sexily]: Anything! - What is it?

MAN: Will you suck my peter?

[Short pause]

WOMAN: Oh…​ All right then. But he can’t stay for dinner. We’ve got nothing in!