Today has been a great day for comedy shopping. Not only did I discover the ultimate in Infidel-Crushing timepieces but also while doing a quick nip round Asda - I came across this magnificent product, which apparently sells like hotcakes to lonely widows and heavily moustacheod gentlemen in suspiciously tight leather trousers. I’ve heard there’s a Kosher version as well, but apparently there’s not nearly as much meat in it.</p>

Two posts in one day - and both of hitherto undreamt of literary and visual excellence. Truly I am a god amongst bloggers!