Has there ever, in the entire history of advertising, been a more freakish, plastic, zombie-looking couple used to try and flog a product, than this pair of Stepford refugees? Of late, they seem to be adorning every bloody billboard and bus-stop I have to pass.

Look at their flawless plastic skin, their concrete hair, their fluorescent perfect teeth and the way that their dead eyes gaze emptily into the distance, instead of at each other. Even the keenest necrophiliac would get a shiver down their spine, left in a room with these two.

And dinnae be fooled for a minute into thinking them minging dinner plates strapped to their wrists are for telling the time. Those are obviously the control devices used to animate them, by their evil zombie-controlling masters.

Shudderrrr!!!