18 Oct 2013
Animation Death Plunge Horror Shocker!
“Tragic Loss Suffered at The Manchester College”

The world of animation was rocked today by news of the tragic death of Mr. Mannfred B Mannekin, charismatic male model and Room 222 regular. Mr. Mannekin plunged to his death from a 3rd storey window at The Manchester College’s Fielden Park campus around 09:00 this morning.

Police have refused to comment on eye-witness claims that jug-eared tutor stíobhart matulevicz was involved in the tragedy, although he was later seen being clubbed at truncheon point into the back of a police van and driven away at high speed, through crowds of jeering onlookers.

Mannfred B Mannekin’s broken body lies beneath the third story window, from which he plunged early this morning.


One local flower-pot resident, who wished to remain anonymous told our reporter:

"Well, I was just sittin’ there on me bleedin’ window sill, ‘avin’ a bit of a chinwag wiv old Manny and waitin’ for my early morning water when, all of a sudden matulevicz comes up, stinking of meths, pushes open the window and out falls Manny. It was bleedin’ disss-gust-ink. I fought in two world wars and I ain’t never seen such an act of pure bleedin’ cruelty!"

Wiping back a tear the outraged plant continued: "They ought to send ‘im bleedin’ back…​. and '`ang '`im. No. '`ang '`im first. Then send '`im bleedin back…​.!", before breaking off in apparent confusion and calling for a pint of Baby Bio.

Tragic. Did Mannfred B Mannekin fall, or was he pushed? Police investigations continue.


Mr. matulevicz subsequently released a statement through his solicitor saying that he “denies absolutely” that he deliberately pushed Mannfred Mannekin to his death, claiming that the incident was a “tragic accident”. He also angrily dismissed claims that he had, for some time, borne a grudge against the popular wooden figure --after students repeatedly voted it a better tutor than him and a more interesting personality, in the college’s annual "Sack The Big-Eared Fool" awards.


TAGS: stíobhart


AUTHOR: stíobhart matulevicz

LAST MODIFIED: 25 Apr 2020  — REASON: "extract asciidoc preamble into separate file and include it"

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