This Is the Voice of Your Conscience Speaking...
“an enigmatic message”

This morning as I stumbled bleary eyed from the shower, I spotted this tiny piece of paper on the bathroom floor and bent athletically to read it. Even allowing for the apparent ‘txt-speak’ of the ‘U’ it seemed to bear :

“Infinity Will Speed You”.

“What can it mean?” I thought, stylishly. “Who has carefully cut out this tiny missive and left it here on my bathroom floor? What are they trying to tell me?”

“Infinity Will Speed You”. It could be an intimation of mortality, enshrining in words the headlong rush towards the unending blackness that awaits us all. Or it could be a rallying call, a cry of encouragement to get on with what you want to achieve while you still have the chance.

I should point out at this juncture that, in addition to the earliness of the hour, I was verily [and quite possibly forsoothly] hung-over this morning after yet again being dragged to a pub against my will and forced to drink beer all night, the previous evening. So my usually razor sharp mind was not exactly firing on all cylinders

Thus it was that I stood there for a few moments turning over the small fragment of paper in my hands, with a gormless expression on my idiotic face, before I realised that the eerie message was nothing more sinister than a piece of some junk mail I’d put in the shredder at the weekend and which had somehow wafted into the bathroom. And the import of those mysterious words?

[BT] Infinity Will Speed U [p your broadband]

I need to stay in more!

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