Image Credit: tembisan.co.za The astute reader will notice that the comments on this ‘ere Electronic Emporium of Ennui are no longer powered by Disqus [and no, I’m not going to give the fuckers a free link!]
A few days ago, while I was trying to track down the address of some website or other, I remembered that I’d once linked to it from one of the comments on this site....
[ Read More ]Mr. WiPpy
11 Oct 2013
My second years were being quite self-directed today, scribbling away furiously in their sketchbbooks, so I got time to do a bit of sketchbook work myself. Here is some more Work-in-Progress on the previously mentioned branding exercise I set my BA students last week.
My final idea is slowly coalescing inside my vacant skull. It’s going to be some kind of 1950s style retro-themed promotional material for a “Design-Bot” robot toy....
[ Read More ]AdAnnoyed 005
09 Aug 2011
You’ll never go far wrong in this world, founding a business on the premise of offering lazy fatties the promise of achieving the body of a Greek God, without actually having to put any effort in.
Behold, the “Fitflop”, the shoe that miraculously slims, tones and [apparently] lengthens your legs, while you concentrate on shuffling round your local Arndale Centre, stuffing your face with McDonalds and Coke [diet, of course!]....
[ Read More ]AdAnnoyed 004
30 May 2011
I've just got to have that recipe... Has there ever, in the entire history of advertising, been a more freakish, plastic, zombie-looking couple used to try and flog a product, than this pair of Stepford refugees? Of late, they seem to be adorning every bloody billboard and bus-stop I have to pass.
Look at their flawless plastic skin, their concrete hair, their fluorescent perfect teeth and the way that their dead eyes gaze emptily into the distance, instead of at each other....
[ Read More ]AdAnnoyed 003
16 Apr 2011
What's that dungy smell? Top marks to the genius who came up with the “Juan Sheet” character, for Plenty kitchen towels’ new £3M ad campaign.
He’s a stereotypical Mexican, y’see, complete with sombrero and gaudy embroidered shirt and cape. So when he says his name in a Mexican accent, it’s supposed to sound like he’s saying “One Sheet” –stressing the toughness and absorbency of Plenty kitchen towels....
[ Read More ]AdAnnoyed 002
13 Dec 2010
And the award for “Most Risibly Unsubtle Attempt to Use Sex to Sell a Product” goes to…
[ Read More ]Question Marks
21 Mar 2008
Laying into the advertising industry is a bit like kicking a dead man with two sets of knackers - not much of a challenge and plenty to aim for. But, what the Hell. It’s the Easter holidays and I’m entitled to take things easy. So today, children let’s contemplate one of the three or four ideas which are currently afoot and endlessly re-hashed in advert-land, the ‘Question as Slogan’:...
[ Read More ]The Louder You Shout, the Less I Hear!
04 Jan 2007
The other night, when I was watching some drivel on the box, the ads came on and a minor irritation occured when I automatically reached down for the remote control to hit the “Mute” button and found it wasnae where I usually leave it.
It occurred to me that for months now I’ve been instinctively muting the TV as soon as any channel I’m watching goes into a commercial break....
[ Read More ]Revenge of the Clipart People
10 Oct 2006
Jeesuz h. Motherfuck! - I’ve railed long and hard in the past about the mindfuckingly irritating habit megacorporations have of sticking some vacant clipart bimboon their marketing material [Usually bundled in an envelope with a letter telling you they’re going to sue the pants off you for the handful of sheckels you owe them], but never in the history of Politically Correct Clipart-Sucking Loonery have I been greeted with as monstrous a sight as this hugely grinning apparition, which greeted me when I attempted to access my account details on Virgin Mobile’s site this morning....
[ Read More ]AdAnnoyeds
18 Jul 2006
The first in an occasional series, whereby we take a piss-poor advert for some nondescript product, which for no apparent reason features some vacant bimbo looking like she’s in the middle of a multiple orgasm - and draw a big hairy cock on it, in best prepubescent schoolboy fashion!
Is it wit? - Is it satire? - Is it biting social commentary?
Possibly not - but it’s what was going through the mind of that creativity-vacuum known as the “Advertising Executive” when he thought up this risible attempt to make you subconsciously associate “Thrusting a hot sweaty RAM card into your computer’s eagerly awaiting slot” with …er… whatever it is people do with Girls of the Opposite Gender....
[ Read More ]You Get Under My Skin
14 Jul 2006
I DO find it irritating!
I thought I was well used to cunt-stick advertising executives shamelessly ripping off every classic scene in every classic movie ever made and I thought I’d steeled myself against the never-ending cheapening of classic Rock’n’Roll songs by their unwelcome association with some tawdry consumer product or other, but I never thought I’d witness the unadulterated Sacrilege I saw on the box the other day!
Vodafone are only using my all-time favourite Punkrock classic tune - “Another Girl Another Planet” - by The Only Ones to try and flog their stinking mobile phone network....
[ Read More ]I Hate Clipart People!
03 Jun 2005
This morning I had to go online to pay another wodge of my hard-earned cash to Powergen to cover my electricity bill. On the online payments page I was greeted with this inanely grinning tart.
What the fuck is going on here? Why do these huge companies; energy suppliers, banks, local government - insist on sending us bills, threatening letters, final demands for payment and the like, embellished with these plastic-toothed, American-chinned, vacant looking clipart mannekins?...
[ Read More ][Singing] 'I Am Plagiarising - I Am Plagiarising...'
17 Nov 2004
A friendly pat on the back [with a sledgehammer] to the Dickie Beasley at Fuckwitte, Pilloque and Spratt who came up with the stunningly original advert currently airing for the Halifax Building Society!
The way that office block, weighs anchor and glides off down the street like a frigate, complete with fluttering tarpaulins for sails is a piece of cinematic genius. Shame on the Monty Python team for blatantly plagiarising this idea back in 1983 with the vastly inferior Crimson Permanent Insurance sketch at the beginning of their film The Meaning of Life!...
[ Read More ]Look Out! It's Middle-Class Multi-Ethnic Model Gang!
10 Nov 2004
The world of advertising, infested as it is with novelty tie and glasses wearing cocklappers of the first order who think the world thousand is pronounced “Kay”, has always been a particular bugbear of mine. So it gives me great pleasure to throw a bucket of cold sick in the face of whichever Dickie Beasley* brought us “Middle-Class Multi-Ethnic Model Gang”
For years advertisers have presented us visions of the world as it should be, rather than as it is....
[ Read More ]