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Madra 'Unfunny' - Official! 30 Jun 2005
Well, yesterday I received an email from the BBC with the shortlist of 36 people who made it through to the final of the Last Laugh competition and my name was conspicuous by its absence. This means that I am officially a "Witless Drudge" with all the writing ability of a "Prepubescent Teenager who has been educated from birth via the medium of SMS text messages". But you already knew that, didn’t you?... [ Read More ]
Political Cartoon No.0003 17 Jun 2005
In today’s searingly topical cartoon, I have tried to imagine Sir Bob Geldof’s reaction when he first heard that Live8 tickets were being sold on eBay. I apologise to those of a sensitive disposition for the strong language used. I felt it was necessary to capture the essence of the man. ... [ Read More ]
Autistic Bloody Britain 16 Jun 2005
I once saw a documentary on telly about Autism. During it, two kids were shown a toy being hidden underneath one of two up-turned boxes. One of the kids was then led from the room and in his or her absence, the toy’s hiding place was swapped, so that it was under the other box. The kid who’d remained in the room and seen the switch was asked to indicate under which box he or she thought the other child would think the toy was.... [ Read More ]
English for Beginners 16 Jun 2005
Sometimes, whilst ploughing through the semi-literate prose which comprises [I’d guess] 99,9% of the content on the internet, I find myself wondering if anyone else on the planet can actually spell and understand basic English grammar? I’m not talking about the plankton-brained kids of today and their teeth-grindingly irritating "…​u no wot I want cuz u is gr8…​" SMS inspired terminal illiteracy, but seemingly intelligent 'Grown-Ups' who, in the middle of an otherwise coherent paragraph, will suddenly drop in a "... [ Read More ]
RIP Conor 09 Jun 2005
Hard to believe it’s two years today since I had to take my wee buddy Conor to get put down. I hope you’re having fun up there in the big kennel in the sky, wee man! ... [ Read More ]
Whither Lembit Opik? 09 Jun 2005
Imagine my horror when I tuned into a 'talking heads' type programme on Radio 5 [AKA "Radio PC"] this morning to find that Liberal Democrat MP for Montgomeryshire, Lembit Opik, was not amongst the panel of guests, offering his Rent-an-opinion on anything from Asteroids to …​er…​ Zoomorphism, in that ever-so-slightly camp sounding Norn Iron accent of his. You hear a lot on the news about shake-ups in the management of the major broadcasting organisations these days, so I fervently hope that some clipboard sucking loon somewhere hasn’t suddenly taken it upon himself to wonder, "... [ Read More ]
Drowning in a Sea of Widgets 06 Jun 2005
On the face of it, it must have seemed a great idea when the boffins at Apple thought up the idea of building The Dashboardinto Tiger [Mac OSX 10,4]. Now anyone with a smattering of Javascript and the ability to throw a bit of HTML and CSS together could design pretty looking 'Widgets' which could be called up [via the Dashboard] at the press of a button and give [almost!... [ Read More ]
I Hate Clipart People! 03 Jun 2005
This morning I had to go online to pay another wodge of my hard-earned cash to Powergen to cover my electricity bill. On the online payments page I was greeted with this inanely grinning tart. What the fuck is going on here? Why do these huge companies; energy suppliers, banks, local government - insist on sending us bills, threatening letters, final demands for payment and the like, embellished with these plastic-toothed, American-chinned, vacant looking clipart mannekins?... [ Read More ]
Political Cartoon No. 002 31 May 2005
Today’s offering casts a wry look at the forthcoming Conservative Party Leadership Election: ... [ Read More ]
Put on Your Sunglasses. Someone's Bleeding! 31 May 2005
Inspector Morse is on the the telly last night and I’ve got half an eye on it while doing some bilge on the computer. A Devil-worshipping 'Baddy' has kidnapped a woman and Morse and Lewis are in her house gazing solemnly upon her kitchen walls where the miscreant has daubed some Satanic runes. They also come across a note from the kidnapper, smeared on a sheet of paper. Both the runes on the wall and the writing on the note appear to have been written in flourescent red oil-paint.... [ Read More ]
Syrup of the Week Award 31 May 2005
Newsnight have just been running an article on the current spate of referenda on the proposed EU constitution, taking place across member states. The Dutch PM Jan Peter Balkenende was featured, speaking in favour of a 'Yes' [or should that be 'Ja' ?] vote. If I was Dutch, he’d certainly get my vote. How could you fail to throw your support behind a man with such a fine luxuriant head of natural looking hair?... [ Read More ]
Why Can't We Say 'Non' to This Frog? 31 May 2005
Can there be a rational human being out there who wouldn’t in the past have agreed that, in the interest of creating a better society for all of us, pretty much all Scallies and Chavs should be put down at birth and their bingo-clink wearing, tracksuit sporting, in-bred Neanderthal featured parents compulsorarily sterilised? I thought not - and this was probably your opinion even before that fucking annoying Frog Ringtone started to monopolise every commercial break on every TV and radio station in the land.... [ Read More ]
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