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Brain Drain 27 May 2004
Hot on the heels of our feeble Test The Nation results, I mentioned the other day, me and the missus suffered the further indignity of coming an absolutely pathetic Fifth! in the oul' Pub Quiz at The Salisbury last night. Following on from our heroic "Two Thirds and Two Wins" in the past five weeks' run, this was a bitter disappointment for us both, as well as a shock for the legions of my adoring attractive female fans --who sadly failed to turn up this week again.... [ Read More ]
Yin-Yang 27 May 2004
Coming out of college today I crossed the road behind a truck carrying a load of scaffolding bars which was stopped at the traffic lights. The truck was a couple of feet over the line at the lights and while I was walking behind it I suddenly got smacked in the shoulder with the end of one of the scaffolding bars on the back of the truck. The fuckwitt scally driving the truck had decided to reverse back over the line at the lights without looking behind him.... [ Read More ]
Descent Into Senility 22 May 2004
Fuck me rigid wi' a rusty dildo! Did anyone else try that Test the Nation IQ test the other night on The Beeb? It was loads harder than all the previous ones! I’m tempted to play the "I’d been drinkin' all day" card as some kind of excuse, but given that in the past I’ve usally been the first to throw the "I’d been drinkin' all day and I’m still a feckin' genius!... [ Read More ]
Roll Up! Roll Up! 04 May 2004
Idly thumbing through the TV book in the vague hope that there might be something decent on of a Sunday for a change, I notice that my favourite purveyors of chewing gum for the brain, Channel 5 are showing yet another 'touchy feely' documentary about some poor [and no doubt 'courageous' and 'inspiring'] brat who’s been born with some rare genetic disease that…​. Well. That’s as far as I could be arsed reading before my booglers started glazing over, but I could hazard a guess:... [ Read More ]
Not So Stupid Brain? 30 Apr 2004
Hoo-fuckin-Ray! Last night [Wednesday] was the fortnighly pub quiz at my regular watering-hole, The Salisbury pub in Manchester. And would you believe it? --The big Guy [Yours Truly] and his trusty sidekick [The Missus] won! Not only that, but we won for the second time running. With the first prize being £20 worth of beer and given the fact that we still had a Tenner’s worth of free booze left from last week’s majestic victory, I reckon we actually made a profit on the night, as we only spent about a Tenner in the pub.... [ Read More ]
Talentless Contest 13 Apr 2004
How mentally stimulating to see an advert on Channel 5 plugging their latest forthcoming 'Reality' TV show - "Britain’s Worst DIY-er". Another gem from the people who brought you "Britain’s Worst Driver"! Just think. The braying morons in the studio audience and those farting on their sofas at home will soon be able to slap their flippers together and screech with laughter as they watch yet another group of irritating 'Fame-at-Any-Price-ers' parading their potentially lethal incompetence for our entertainment.... [ Read More ]
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